I’ve been busy studying a newt hibernaculum overseas. That is the best response I’ve devised to any sort of retort about your laziness. Why didn’t you do your homework? Newt hibernaculum. What were you thinking when you only watched episodes of the “Legend of Korra” all day instead of writing? Newt hibernacula. It will always work, at least for a second or two, which will buy you precious time to slide awkwardly away from the conversation.
No, it is not a nonsense word penned by Lewis Carroll. It is a real thing, and I’ve seen it. It sort of overshadowed all that other stuff I saw, like Big Ben, the Rosetta Stone, Dublin, and the largest passenger ferry in the world. I’ll get to all that later. Just know that my trip involved a newt hibernaculum, up close. Let that really sink in.
Yes, there is photographic proof. I took a picture of the real thing, the hibernaculum itself…but it was too glorious to post here. Imagine a tiny Versailles with The Great Wall and the Mall of America built into it. I mean, this guy wrote four pages dedicated to proper newt hibernacula construction saying: “In creating ’five-star’ hibernacula there are a number of factors to consider.” And following that is a bulleted list of six criteria. SIX!